Jokes Thread

[Cliff.Barnes]

Was going to put this in the Santuary but I dinna think anyone will understand them. :USA_Blue
Feel free to add to it.

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Man walks into a bakers and says,
"Is that a donut or a meringue?"

and the baker says,
"No, you're right sir, it's a donut."

[Cliff.Barnes]

Q: What do Rangers Fans and sperm have in common?


A: One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.

(Rangers fans - please replace "Rangers fan" with "Celtic fan".) :USA_Blue

[XIII]

Q.whats the differance between the english national team, an a jet engine?

A.The jet engine eventually stops whining

[Dandybird]

If you are trapped in a room with a rangers fan, a cobra and a tiger and you have a gun with only 2 bullets, who do you shoot?

The rangers fan twice!

[XIII]

If you are trapped in a room with a rangers fan, a cobra and a tiger and you have a gun with only 2 bullets, who do you shoot?

The rangers fan twice!
lol, i heard that one but it wasnt a rangers fan, it was with david beckham

[bambergascoigne]

Whats the difference between a (insert hated club name) fan and an onion?

You cry when you cut up an onion

[Dandybird]

Whats the difference between a dog and a England fan lying dead in the road?

There are skid marks before the dog!

[Cliff.Barnes]

Q: What do Beckham and Rangers FC both have in common?
A: Both got F***ked by Victoria

(I especialy like this one as I was at the Viktoria Žižkov 2 Rangers 0 game in Prague.)

[cro lion]

A Celtic fan enters a pub, after a few drinks he turns to the guy next to him and says, "Do you want to hear a Rangers joke?"
The guy turns to him and says "Listen mate before you tell the joke I should warn you, I’m 6ft 10 and a Rangers fan, that guy to your left is 6ft and a member of a flute band, and the guy there is 6ft 5 and a member of the orange order, Now do you still want to tell your joke?"
The Celtic fan replies, "No, not if I have to tell it 3 times."

[cro lion]

A Celtic fan, Rangers fan and a Aberdeen fan are lost in the woods together and spot a farm . The three of them approach the farm and knock on the door. A man answers.
"Do you have a room for the night? ", asks the Aberdeen fan.
"Yes, I do but one of you will have to sleep with the pigs".
"Fine I will sleep with pigs", replies the Celtic fan. At 2:00 o'clock in the morning the Celtic fan appears at the door, "It is too smelly down there", says the Celtic fan.
"Fine then I will sleep with the pigs ", says the Aberdeen fan. At 3:00 o'clock in the morning the Aberdeen fan says " It's too smelly down there".
"Fine then I will go sleep with the pigs" says the Rangers fan . At 4:00 o'clock in the morning the pig appears at the door and says:
"It's too smelly down there!!"

[Aimz]

:laugh

brilliant... best joke so far :clap

[forzaredultras]

:laugh :laugh :laugh the last one was funny